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Who's stupid now?
bighank53@hotmail.com writes:
You are such a stupid idiot! Don't you have anything better to do with your time?
We get a lot of mail like this - brief flames with schoolyard insults that aren't clever enough to post to the "responses" section of the site. Normally, we let it pass wihtout remark - but we're going to have a little fun with this one.
You see, BigHank53 thinks he's smart enough to call someone else "stupid," and like so many others, he's smug about it because he's smart enough to use a hotmail account to disguise his real identity.
Unfortunately, he listed the same hotmail account on his home page, which made it easy enough to find with a search engine. Along with the usual egotistic blah-blah, BigHank53 provides his resume, some information about his family and the fact that he's real big on helping his wife out with her youth group. None of this is terribly interesting, or terribly stupid - and some ancillary research to discover his home address, his employer's address, the address of the church that sponsors the youth group, et cetera, didn't yield anything interesting either.
And so, you'd probably agree that BigHank53 may not be stupid, just a little careless. However, we did a quick search of USENET and hit paydirt. BigHank53 has made a lot of postings to a number of adult newsgroups - and not just the ordinary cheesecake pictures - we're talking about some really disturbed material, like playing with doo-doo and doing rude things to animals.
So who's stupid now, BigHank53?
Oh, and that's not a rhetorical question - we fully expect you to answer, and in no small way. You can answer us by adding the following banner to your home page:
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And if you think it would be smart not to post this banner on your home page, consider this: we have the e-mail and s-mail addresses of your wife and family, your employer, your clergyman, and the prosecutor's office in your county of residence; we also have the URLs (as well as print-outs) of your home page and the tawdry little postings you made to the newsgroups.
Can you connect the dots,
or must we do it for you?
The banner should be placed at the very top of your home page. It should be up by the first of June, and you may not remove it until New Year's Day 2000. Also, you may not pull your home page from the Internet, move it to a different location, or alter it in any way that disguises your identity, nor may you request its removal from any of the search engines or portal sites.
You may (and should) switch your hotmail account to something else and change it on your home page (otherwise anyone who reads this can figure out who you are and beat us to the punch) - and if anyone asks you about the "I AM STOOPIT" banner on your home page, you can tell them that you lost a bet ('cos boy, did you ever) or anything you please.
If you comply, we'll delete our file on you and drop the hard copies into the shredder on New Year's Day. If you refuse ... well ... suffice to say that it's entirely possible to feel a whole lot more stupid than you probably do right now.
Toodle-oo, BigHank53.
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Various folks have asked:
What's the URL to Big Hank's home page?
I think you miss the point - if we gave out his URL, you could do the same research we did, screw up the poor wanker's life, and the "STOOPIT" banner wouldn't go up.
We really want to see that happen.
The banner, that is, not doo-doo man's life ruined. If you're really that vicious, try going after someone who really deserves it. There are plenty of televangelists, politicans, and other species of professional cretin who far more deserve to be exposed.
So how does the story end?
We're as eager to find out as you are. Stay tuned.
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bighank53@hotmail.com writes:
Well, I decided to see how dumb big hank is and took a look at his password hint option.
Looks like Big Hank just got hacked, and no longer has access to his hotmail account. So if you're sending him hate mail, love messages, or just laughing in his face (why else would we post these pinheads' e-mail addresses?), you're wasting your breath ... or tendons, as it were.
Also, sadly, we've no way to get in touch with the guy now, so it wouldn't be particularly fair to hold him to the June deadline. We'll give him 'till July.
... he tried to send an email (but entered the wrong address) to you guys that is as follows.
"Ok, I'm sorry - can you take down your page on me?
I mean, it's really embarrassing and I learned by lesson.
I called you stupid and that was wrong but do you really have to tell my wife? And all those other people?
It would be a big embarrrassment to me and my family and I'd really appreciate it if you would not do it.
- Hank"
We'd be more merciful, but this strikes us as something he should have thought about earlier.
Anyway, Hank, since it seems you've seen the page and have been informed of what you need to do to save yourself further embarrassment, just do it.
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Closure ...
Well, it took a while (what with "mister helper" hacking Hank's e-mail account), but we finally got closure on this one ... the "STOOPIT" banner is top and center on Hank's home page, and will be there until New Years' Day, 2000.
... I love it when a plan comes together.
While it's been fun (and still is quite amusing), we hope this doesn't discourage anyone else from sending in flame-mail. We honestly love the stuff.
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MacWorld to the Rescue!
Epilogue:
Seems that the folks at MacWorld heard a rumor about this alleged incident, and decided to pipe up in BigHank's defense. Gotta love it when the corporate press decides to take one of their brothers-in-spirit under their wing.
You want details? You got 'em.
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