I sometimes catch myself wondering about vague references and subtle paradoxes in syndicated television shows I watched during my formative years. I wonder if all my existential angst could be dispelled if some of these quandaries were put to rest:

Was 'Potsi' his first name or his last?
Were the Fonz and Chachi really cousins ...
... or was I missing something?
Whatever happened to the original "Al"?
Where did they keep all the black people?
Why didn't we ever see the Cunninghams' eldest son?

In the last case, I have found, or at least invented, some resolution. I figure that Riwchie's older brother was some creepy 1950's nerd with tortoise-shell glasses and a deformed left ear, who spoke with a lisp and kept a collection of pickled organs.

.. no, wait. That was my high-school biology teacher. I think that was everybody's high-school biology teacher.

Nevermind.