Experienced seaman are said to have a girl in every port. Nevermind that it's the same girl for every seaman - just think about the tales you've heard about Claudette (35 Francs), Sophia (400 Liré), and Hildegaarde (35 Pfennig). Notice that "Bridget" and "Siobhan" are never mentioned.

Some things, you don't talk about.

The Emerald Isle is best known not for its raving beauties, but for feisty drunkards - it's not a matter of creed or genetics, but the result of countless generations of repressed people with nothing better to do. It's a third-world country where religion holds strong for lack of incentive to commit any cardinal sins, short of blowing up a bus-load of British schoolchildren from time to time ...

... which is probably OK by God anyway.

And now that there's a potato in every pot, they keep pretty much to themselves, with the exception of a few musicians whose sanctimony well overstepped the latitude given to people with a few good tunes in them. I suppose we can forgive them Sinead and Bono, but if they don't take back Enya soon, we'll have to decrease our contributions to the IRA.